Getting to Know You …

Fear the mouth of truth!

Last week I was invited to participate in the ImpactHub‘s Host program. As part of the process of getting to know one another, we were all asked for a bio. For some people, this may be as easy as cracking a few eggs and frying them up in the pan, but writing a bio for me has always been fraught.

There’s the moment before the revelation, and the moment after. There are calculations and divinations, multiple “what ifs” and a few myths thrown in for good measure. I waver between sharing what I think is acceptable and what will get me killed. Fear, my old friend, has often won these battles. I may share one thing that I think is just on the edge of acceptability, just enough to sate the appetites, without sharing the things that scare me the most. I want to be accepted, to feel that I belong (and not get killed).

Fear lies to me. It yells at me. It tells me if I expose the things that are most important to me, I give all my power away. But as long as I keep them close to my heart, I’m in service to the fear. It’s when I can stand up to the fear, and stand in my truth, that I stand in my power.

The irony is, as long as I hide these parts of myself, I also deprive myself and others of intimacy and real connection. You cannot know the real me if I don’t share my full, true self.

In the interest of this exercise, here is what I shared:

Ask me about: writing, yoga, vegan cookery, queer theory, gender theory, travel, science fiction, marriage equality (and LGBT issues), graphic novels, slowing down.
What am I looking for: broaden my connections in Seattle, learn more about what people are doing to make the world better, friends, part-time work to support my art.
What am I good at? I’m an information hound. If you are looking for something specific, I can probably find it for you. I’m great at connecting people with resources, whether that’s another person, an organization, or an article. It’s why I went into librarianship!

Not too different from my Twitter bio:

Pirate. Werehedgehog. Queer femme. Writer. Librarian. Dork. Blooming at my own speed. Earnestness is my superpower.

I was nervous to share this information about myself. I feared I was going to present a piece of information that would make people run screaming from the room. Much to my disappointment, this didn’t happen. But this is your opportunity. Take it now, or the monster under the bed might pop out.

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8 thoughts on “Getting to Know You …

  1. Cairn Rodriguescc

    I tend to run the other direction and want to pack my bios with every scrap of information possible. Then I have to edit them down to something manageable and feel like I’m denying parts of me because they won’t fit!

  2. Lou Knight

    It’s wonderful and totally depicts you without claiming to define you. It’s enough and not too much or too little. I love your Twitter bio for equal parts sincerity and humour and sweetness because that is the impression I have of you. Love the bio, you did a great job of it. I’ve often wrangled with that sort of thing myself and know how the fear can hold you back. Well done for nailing it!

    1. slowbloom Post author

      Thank you so much, Lou! I really appreciate that. Means the world to me.

  3. anthony pensabene

    in the beginning, i was weird (maybe just anthony)…and then i began observing ‘society,’ and how some things were acceptable, though dressing in super hero outfits should be accepted everywhere.

    id say from…maybe 9 years old to…20..21(?), i adhered to social etiquette and it was sooooooooooo boring (and confusing). In my early-twenties (eccentric period – as defined by others), i began wearing suspenders, carrying assorted teas around in a tin, and reading ravenously (for fun!). it was cool, though some people called me ‘weird.’

    but, it was enjoyable in a perverse way. i didn’t want to be disliked per se, but wanted to see who was truly interested in the same things, even if it was laughing at the same obscure moments of a film. it’s really the small things in life that connect us. ‘love’ ‘friendship’ and ‘affection’ are just convenient terms made of small moments.

    that’s all i have to say about that (looks at watch and realizes he’s running late for lazer tag match)

    1. slowbloom Post author

      Thanks Anthony! I agree, it is those small moments/small things that connect us – and yet it’s so easy for me to build it up into something giant and scary. Great reminder! Hope you made your lazer tag :P.

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