{"id":503,"date":"2014-06-25T14:34:15","date_gmt":"2014-06-25T21:34:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.slowbloom.com\/blog\/?p=503"},"modified":"2014-06-25T14:34:15","modified_gmt":"2014-06-25T21:34:15","slug":"the-secret-sauce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.slowbloom.com\/blog\/2014\/06\/the-secret-sauce\/","title":{"rendered":"The Secret Sauce"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I asked if anyone had any burning questions on Twitter for me. Miss Idgie sure did!<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" lang=\"en\">\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/outseide\">@outseide<\/a> you&#39;ve been in a nearly two-decade relationship. Neither of you has offed the other. How do you navigate that??<\/p>\n<p>&mdash; miss idgie (@missidgie) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/missidgie\/statuses\/481896291295715328\">June 25, 2014<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m sure John Gottman could give you specific and detailed instructions on what makes a relationship work. This is what I&#8217;ve figured out for myself.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/jillbertini\/2976430426\" title=\"Love bloom by Jill S., on Flickr\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/farm4.staticflickr.com\/3167\/2976430426_c1f12e7d0d.jpg\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" alt=\"Love bloom\"><\/a><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Don&#8217;t compare your relationship to anyone else&#8217;s. You have to figure out what works for you. Your relationship is unique. If that other relationship falters, in some way that will then cause upset in your own.<\/li>\n<li>Have fun!<\/li>\n<li>Be honest with one another.<\/li>\n<li>Have fun! This means doing things together that you both enjoy.<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t except the other person to fill all your needs.<\/li>\n<li>Admit it and apologize when you are wrong.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I am in a relationship with an introvert. It&#8217;s taken me many years to hone my &#8220;care and feeding&#8221; of said creature. There are always balances to be struck and negotiations to be made. People time v. alone time. Outside\/nature\/physical activity time v. indoor\/cultural\/social time.<\/p>\n<p>I think the other reason my relationship (to date) has been successful is because I see us as being a <strong>team<\/strong>. My girlfriend supports me and encourages me and challenges me and I hope, at my best, that I do that for her (I&#8217;m pretty sure I do, since she&#8217;s said things like this me).<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t believe there&#8217;s a secret sauce that makes relationships successful. Gottman says contempt is poison, but I have to wonder why you would be with anyone you felt contempt for, so respect is a given for me.<\/p>\n<p>What do you feel makes your relationship successful?<\/p>\n<div style=\"padding-bottom:20px; padding-top:10px;\" class=\"hupso-share-buttons\"><!-- Hupso Share Buttons - https:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/ --><a class=\"hupso_pop\" href=\"https:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/button100x23.png\" style=\"border:0px; width:100; height: 23; \" alt=\"Share Button\" \/><\/a><script type=\"text\/javascript\">var hupso_services=new Array(\"Twitter\",\"Facebook\",\"Linkedin\",\"StumbleUpon\",\"Reddit\",\"Print\");var hupso_icon_type = \"labels\";var hupso_background=\"#EAF4FF\";var hupso_border=\"#66CCFF\";var hupso_image_folder_url = \"\";var hupso_url=\"\";var hupso_title=\"The%20Secret%20Sauce\";<\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/js\/share.js\"><\/script><!-- Hupso Share Buttons --><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I asked if anyone had any burning questions on Twitter for me. Miss Idgie sure did! @outseide you&#39;ve been in a nearly two-decade relationship. Neither of you has offed the other. How do you navigate that?? &mdash; miss idgie (@missidgie) June 25, 2014 I&#8217;m sure John Gottman could give you specific and detailed instructions on [&hellip;]<\/p>\n<div style=\"padding-bottom:20px; padding-top:10px;\" class=\"hupso-share-buttons\"><!-- Hupso Share Buttons - https:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/ --><a class=\"hupso_pop\" href=\"https:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/\"><img src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/button100x23.png\" style=\"border:0px; width:100; height: 23; \" alt=\"Share Button\" \/><\/a><script type=\"text\/javascript\">var hupso_services=new Array(\"Twitter\",\"Facebook\",\"Linkedin\",\"StumbleUpon\",\"Reddit\",\"Print\");var hupso_icon_type = \"labels\";var hupso_background=\"#EAF4FF\";var hupso_border=\"#66CCFF\";var hupso_image_folder_url = \"\";var hupso_url=\"\";var hupso_title=\"The%20Secret%20Sauce\";<\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/js\/share.js\"><\/script><!-- Hupso Share Buttons --><\/div>","protected":false},"author":32,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[119,118],"class_list":["post-503","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lgbt","tag-love","tag-relationship-advice"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.slowbloom.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/503","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.slowbloom.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.slowbloom.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.slowbloom.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/32"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.slowbloom.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=503"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.slowbloom.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/503\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":504,"href":"https:\/\/www.slowbloom.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/503\/revisions\/504"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.slowbloom.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=503"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.slowbloom.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=503"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.slowbloom.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=503"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}