I Know Where I Am

Sundial

The last month or so I’ve been working with the idea that I know how to protect myself. This came up just last weekend, when a man I’d never met attempted to engage me in conversation in a public setting by telling me that he followed me. Immediately a red flag went up. There were people around me and I wasn’t worried for my safety. When he asked if he could sit with me, I just said, “No, I’m busy.” And he left.

In my yoga classes, we’ve been focused on handstand. I probably write about handstand more than any other pose because it induces such intense reactions for me. I suppose some people would say it’s juicy. On Monday, once I was upside-down, I went to the panic place. This is where I feel like I don’t know what the fuck is going on, which way is what and so on. And then I heard this little voice say, “You know how to protect yourself.” And then I thought: I know where I am. So when I came down, it was not out of a panic, but out of certainty. I’ve been exploring this pose for 13 years and this may be the first time I’ve ever experienced it that way.

In my class today I had another opportunity to try this out. The entire time I was going up I thought, “I know where I am.” And I did, it was true. And while the pose was intense and required my full concentration, I wasn’t panicking. I hope I can keep remembering this the next time I start to panic about something.

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6 thoughts on “I Know Where I Am

    1. slowbloom Post author

      Apparently he followed me in to the cafe. Here’s a tip to men if they don’t want to seem creepy. DON’T TELL A WOMAN YOU FOLLOWED THEM. PERIOD. END OF STORY.

      1. Rosa

        Honestly, if you have to be told this, go ahead and tell the woman you followed her, because it gives her a clear warning right off the bat that you are not okay.

        1. slowbloom Post author

          Ha ha! Good point. Yes, by all means, announce to the woman that you are a creep!

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