I asked if anyone had any burning questions on Twitter for me. Miss Idgie sure did!
@outseide you've been in a nearly two-decade relationship. Neither of you has offed the other. How do you navigate that??
— miss idgie (@missidgie) June 25, 2014
I’m sure John Gottman could give you specific and detailed instructions on what makes a relationship work. This is what I’ve figured out for myself.
- Don’t compare your relationship to anyone else’s. You have to figure out what works for you. Your relationship is unique. If that other relationship falters, in some way that will then cause upset in your own.
- Have fun!
- Be honest with one another.
- Have fun! This means doing things together that you both enjoy.
- Don’t except the other person to fill all your needs.
- Admit it and apologize when you are wrong.
I am in a relationship with an introvert. It’s taken me many years to hone my “care and feeding” of said creature. There are always balances to be struck and negotiations to be made. People time v. alone time. Outside/nature/physical activity time v. indoor/cultural/social time.
I think the other reason my relationship (to date) has been successful is because I see us as being a team. My girlfriend supports me and encourages me and challenges me and I hope, at my best, that I do that for her (I’m pretty sure I do, since she’s said things like this me).
I don’t believe there’s a secret sauce that makes relationships successful. Gottman says contempt is poison, but I have to wonder why you would be with anyone you felt contempt for, so respect is a given for me.
What do you feel makes your relationship successful?